i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
