i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize