That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
