FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize