Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
