i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
