Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize