Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
