I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
