you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
