it wasn't lemon gatorade
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Randomize
