It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
