I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
