all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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