I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize