Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
