Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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