you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
