So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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