My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
organizing the empties. That sober.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
