Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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