Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
