You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize