I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
