ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
North Korea, Best Korea!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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