the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
