i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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