Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
