I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She bit a glass in half.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
