Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
