so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
