I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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