Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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