I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
