If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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