why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
