worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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