bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
