after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
