Me too!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Less talking, more tequila
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I smell like Dick and happiness
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize