Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sober January is a disaster.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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