I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize