I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
