Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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