I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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