what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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