I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
