Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize