i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
