She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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