We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
