Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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