I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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