i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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