that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
