Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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