I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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