Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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