goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
