who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
