Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My ass is underappreciated
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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