you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
