Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
