mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
