I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Jerry, you need to find god
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize